Dead and dying jokes
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If a man was born in England, raised in America and died in Spain, what does that make him?
Dead.
Doctor, doctor, I feel dead from the waist down.
I'll arrange for you to be halfburied.
Waiter, waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup.
Oh no! Who's going to look after his family?
Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car?
Because he was a car-case.
Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?
Girl: One - the dead one!
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