Dead and dying jokes
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"Why are you crying Fred?" asked the teacher. "
'Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk. . ."
"Fred," said the teacher. "You must have known that Wisk's bad for parrots."
"Oh it wasn't the Wisk that killed it, sir. It was the tumble drier."
Doctor, doctor, I'm at death's door!
Don't worry, Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through.
What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres?
Surgical spirits.
How do you make a Venetian blind?
Poke him in the eye
My brother's a professional boxer. Heavyweight ?
No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !
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